


Stiles Stilinski and the 13 Horror Movie Clichés

by orphan_account



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: It's like 13 days of Halloween instead of 31, Magical Lydia Martin, Magical Stiles Stilinski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2014-10-27
Packaged: 2018-02-22 19:12:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2518739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles closes his medicine cabinet, not even startling when he sees the dark figure standing behind him in the reflection. He vaguely wonders if Scott is even trying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stiles Stilinski and the 13 Horror Movie Clichés

**Author's Note:**

> Fun Fact: If you download this fic in epub format, it's exactly 13 pages. I didn't even attempt this... Spooky.
> 
> Follow me on tumblr if you want: [here](http://fuckboyhacker.tumblr.com)

It all begins with the weather.

Or maybe it all begins when Stiles and Scott are both eight years old. That time when their friendship was new and they were still getting to know each other.

Scott had begged and pleaded with his mother to let Stiles spend the night. “A very important part of childhood development,” he explained, trying to get the phrasing right. It was what Stiles had told him and it sounded smart, so he took the time to remember the words.

She had relented, of course; it was Scott for Pete’s sake. And so that very night, Stiles' dad dropped him off and pointed a stern finger at his son, telling him to behave and mind his manners, because Stiles had the habit of saying and doing things he shouldn't.

The boys had built a pillow fort in the living room, playing video games and eating pizza. Probably having the best night of their lives... At least, until it started raining.

Rain isn't a big deal. It’s natural and wonderful and a big part of nature and the cycle of life and what not. Stiles had and still to this day has no problem with it. Neither does Scott. Scott's fear lies in thunder.

After the rain had begun, everything went on just fine, but then the wind had picked up and started to rattle the windows and the sound of thunder clapped loudly in their ears.

Scott had been instantly terrified, scuttling into their fort and stuffing his head under a pillow as big fat tears rolled down his face.

Stiles had been confused at the change, but he understood. He knew that there were different things people were afraid of, like his dad, who was deathly afraid of broccoli. So, like any best friend, he climbed into their fort and held Scott's hand.

Scott had been bewildered at first. He remembered when he used to be Jackson's friend and how Jackson would mercilessly tease him and call him a baby when he cried. He had been a little surprised that Stiles wasn't doing the same, and when he asked why, all Stiles said was that Scott was brave where it mattered and that he wouldn't be a good friend if he called him a baby. Besides, what's wrong with being a baby? They have it made.

And that was the moment their friendship became cemented, the moment that Scott knew that Stiles was going to be in his life forever no matter what. Because when he was his most afraid, his friend was there for him, no laughter, just support.

Unfortunately, he can't say that it's lasted. Because now, here they are years later and Stiles is chuckling at the fact that Scott is currently hiding under a blanket on his bed.

"You're still afraid of thunder? I thought you got over that." He smiles as Scott squirms at another loud clap.

"Yeah, well I've relapsed. Do you have any idea how much sound is amplified when you're a werewolf? It's fucking terrifying."

"Uh, no? I'm a human remember? You're a big, bad werewolf now, you've moved up in life. I'm surprised you have the time to be afraid of thunder when there's so many other things that go bump in the night."

"Hey, don't shame my fears! I don't make fun of you when you're afraid."

Stiles scoffs at this and rolls his eyes as he flops down on the bed next to Scott. "Because I'm not afraid of anything as mundane as 'thunder'." Putting extra emphasis on the word, which Scott thinks is absolutely unnecessary. "Besides, the only time you've seen me afraid is when our lives are in danger. Like, ‘wow-we're-seriously-about-two-seconds-away-from-dying’ in danger."

Scott's brow furrows in concentration, because surely he's seen Stiles afraid before. Hasn't he? And as he thinks on it, no he hasn't. Even now, Stiles doesn't really seem afraid of the 'things that go bump in the night,’ as if he's reached his threshold for terror and nothing frightens him anymore.

He recalls the last big, bad thing that had been terrorizing everyone and Stiles hadn't even batted an eyelash at the thought that, yes, there are vampires and that, yes, they prefer virgin blood. They had eventually destroyed the nest and when Scott had asked if Stiles was okay after he had almost been bitten, the boy had looked at him strange and asked why he wouldn't be.

"Huh," he says, thunder being ignored in favor of this new revelation. If he has to come up with one word for it, that word would be unfair. Because that's what it is: un-fucking-fair. And maybe he's a little bitter about it, because if he's honest, he kind of wants to take Stiles down a peg.

All their lives, Stiles has been the leader of their little friendship. He's always been the smart one and yes, okay, the weird one. But, he always stood up for Scott, always took the fall when they got in trouble. Scott has always hero-worshipped him a little for being brave and smart and not caring what anybody else thought, for being fiercely loyal.

Even now, when Scott's struggling to stay afloat in all the mess they've gotten into with werewolves and kanimas and Argents, Stiles has adapted like it's nothing, taking anything that's thrown at him and going with it. Jealous is something that Scott may or may not be.

So that night he plans. He wants to find out what Stiles is scared of, or at least scare the shit out of him. So he goes home and logs onto Netflix. Finding as many horror movie classics as he can, he loads them up into a playlist and sits back to begin his research.

The next morning, when he's yawning and there are dark circles under his eyes (werewolf stamina be damned), he has a list of patterns he saw in most of the movies. At the top of his list is ominous weather. And okay, he knows Stiles isn't afraid of weather, but Scott is feeling a little vengeful and wants to do this one first. He knows it won't scare Stiles, but it will sure as hell annoy him.

Scott goes to Lydia for this one. Stiles is the resident magic doer. But, Lydia dabbles, so does Deaton for that matter, but Scott doesn't think that Deaton would be too willing to help him out and Stiles obviously wouldn't.

Lydia isn't either, but when he says that he will do anything, she finally relents. All she asks for in return is one favor, to be collected at any time. He agrees a little reluctantly, but he supposes it will be worth it.

 

**1\. Ominous Weather**

Stiles doesn't notice the spell at first.

It's been really rainy lately and, although it seems to have gotten worse in the past week, he doesn't notice that anything is wrong.

Not until he wakes up and notices, for the first time in days, the sun is out. He's understandably happy about this, because honestly? Rain is so bleak.

He spends a little more time on his appearance, because this will be the first time in days he won't have to worry about looking like a drowned squirrel.

He's extra bright with his dad as they eat breakfast and doesn't complain when he has to do the dishes. He even whistles a bit as he collects his things to go to school, smiling happily as he opens the front door, and then frowning as soon as he takes a step outside.

Drenched in a matter of seconds, he frowns at the rain and thunder going on directly above his head. He looks a couple feet away and then looks down both sides of the street, immediately noticing that it is only raining in a five-foot radius around himself.

Sighing, he walks to the Jeep and absently notices that once he's inside, the rain stops. As he drives to school, he wonders if he's done anything to piss off Lydia recently. He guesses he'll just have to stay inside till he can find the counter-spell.

When he gets to school, he decides to make the best of the situation and stays in his car when he sees Scott standing by the front entrance waiting for him. Scott sees him and walks over, looking confused. That's when Stiles jumps out of the car and wraps his best friend in a big bear hug. Laughing as Scott yelps and tries to struggle free when he hears the thunder.

As Scott runs away from The Human Rainstorm that is Stiles Stilinski, he admits to himself that maybe he didn't think this all the way through.

 

**2\. Creepy Soundtrack**

Okay, so maybe Scott didn't think this one through, either.

Stiles figures out the counter-spell for the bad weather in a matter of hours. So Scott wastes no time in getting Lydia to put another one on Stiles, in exchange for another mysterious favor. This time to have scary tension-filled music play in his vicinity at all times. He doesn't think Stiles will find this one all that scary, but Scott wants to lure Stiles into a false sense of security before he pulls out the big guns.

Unfortunately, all Stiles does is use the music to scare Scott and the rest of the pack. He even thinks Stiles managed to scare Derek, and that's a feat in itself.

The thing about the music is that you don't even notice it at first. It's starts as a little tinkling of sound, then gradually builds, so by that time, you're used to it. You don't even notice that the music is there until all of a sudden you turn around and Stiles is there scaring the shit out of you.

It doesn't help being a werewolf, either. They have to get used to a lot more sounds, so if they hear music they usually assume it's from a passing car, or something.

After a week of living in fear, he realizes that Stiles isn't going to break this spell, he's having too much fun with it. So Stiles torments Scott and the rest of the pack endlessly, until the day that he finally gets Lydia and she unspells him herself.

The pack is relieved by the time it's over, even though Isaac is still a little jumpy whenever Stiles is in the room with him.

If anything good has come out of this, he thinks that it's the pack deciding to join in on Scott's mission to scare Stiles. If he's honest, He probably needs the help.

 

**3\. What's That Noise?**

Stiles is busily playing bubble witch saga on his phone.

He knows he's supposed to be paying attention to Derek, because this is a pack meeting and 'dammit Stiles, you need to take these seriously'. Yeah, whatever. Stiles lines up his shot and taps, successfully knocking down a row of blue balls. Heh, blue balls.

He doesn't notice that the room has gone silent and that the pack is staring at him. Not until he hears Isaac clear his throat for the fourth time.

He takes a second to glance up, notices that everyone is kind of looking at him and then charmingly asks ‘what’ as he let's another ball fly.

"Did you hear that noise?" Isaac asks.

"Nope." He says, hissing angrily when he loses the level. He's down to two lives; he needs to be careful.

"Are you sure?" This time it's Erica who asks.

Ugh, don't they know that this is a matter of life or death? He only has two more lives. So when he answers, he's not exactly 'polite'. "Uh, yes? Despite popular belief, I am not a werewolf and can't hear every little noise or whisper of wind."

"One of us should go check it out." Scott says as he eyes his friend. He really dislikes sassy Stiles. He can be even more cutting than Lydia when he wants to be.

The room is silent again, everyone looking at Stiles. Scott doesn't know why he thought Stiles would volunteer.

"You should go check it out." Scott reiterates, looking at the rest of the pack a little desperately.

Stiles laughs at that and continues to play his game. He's beaten the level and is now working on the next one, when he notices that everyone's looking at him again. "Oh, you were serious? No thanks."

"But yo-" Stiles cuts Isaac off before he can finish the sentence.

"Let me get this straight. You want me to go check out a noise, a noise that I can't even hear. Instead of sending one of the-" Stiles takes the time to look up and point and count each werewolf in the room, not that he needs to, because Stiles is perfectly aware of how many wolves are in the pack. "-eight werewolves that can actually hear this noise that I frankly don't even think exists?" He presses the power button on his phone, turning the screen black.

"Yes?" Scott questions. He's unsure, because he does want Stiles to go check out the noise, but he also knows that Stiles is using heavy sarcasm right now, so he's conflicted.

"Nice try Scott. I don't think you know what you're getting into; you don't want to do this with me. Do you remember the great gummy bear war?" Scott cringes a little at the thought of The Gummy Bear War, he'd almost forgotten. "I don't think any of you want to do this with me." And with that, Stiles gets up and leaves Derek's loft.

They continue the pack meeting and try to think of better ways to get at Stiles. They also forget about the trap that they springed upstairs, the one that they set for Stiles. It's poor Isaac who finally remembers and that's only because the stupid mechanical (whatever that is) jumps out at him when he opens a closet door.

 

**4\. Mirror Mirror**

Stiles closes his medicine cabinet, not even startling when he sees the dark figure standing behind him in the reflection. He vaguely wonders if Scott is even trying.

 

**5\. Let's Split Up**

Derek is very black and white, there's not a lot of grey in his world (He's glad Stiles isn't there to make a dog joke). So when he hears about some axe murderer psycho guy on the loose in Beacon Hills, he breathes a sigh of relief. Not. His. Job. Just some crazy human, that's strictly police territory. Not his problem, nope, not at all.

At least, not until the Sheriff asks for his help.

He wants to say no, because it's a human. But, he also doesn't want to disappoint the Sheriff. No, he wants the Sheriff to like him, because when he finally gets the nerve to ask Stiles out on a date, he doesn't want the Sheriff to do something extreme. Like shoot him.

So he says yes. He figures it could be a good thing for his betas, a nice little hunt for them. It's not like they're dealing with Argents. This man thinks he's the worst thing out there? Well, he's wrong.

He puts Scott in charge and maybe that's a mistake. He doesn't take the time to think about the little feud or war thing Scott and Stiles have going on. That's definitely a mistake.

Scott smiles when he gets the text from Derek, because this is perfect. A legitimate threat that he can show Stiles without him getting suspicious that Scott is trying to trick and/or scare him. It's also perfect because it's not really a threat at all. He could probably handle it himself and have the guy bound and gagged in front of the police station by morning. Where's the fun in that though?

He texts the rest of the pack and lets them know that they're going hunting and that this is also the perfect chance to get Stiles back. He then texts the boy himself, telling him to meet with everyone else out at the preserve.

At first, Stiles thinks it's a trick. But, he turns on the news and yep, there it is, 'crazy psycho axe guy'. So Stiles grabs his keys and shows up at the preserve exactly on time.

When everyone is there, minus Lydia and Derek, they decide to split into pairs to search the woods. Isaac and Scott. Erica and Boyd. Peter and Cora. Do you know who Stiles is paired with? Jackson. They paired him with Jackson. When he tries to speak up and let everyone know that this is not a good thing, they've already started off in their own directions.

Jackson doesn't wait for him and starts walking off. Stiles' first mistake is following him instead of just letting him go and getting back in his jeep.

They walk right up to the point where Stiles figures out that he has no idea where they are and he probably wouldn't be able to get back on his own. He thinks this maybe was done on purpose.

"I'm going to go check out that noise, wait here."

Stiles splutters at this, because, uh, no, no he's not. But before he can open his mouth, he's alone. In the dark. With an axe murderer running around. He wants to think that Scott planned this, but he also doesn't want to think that Scott would use a real life axe murderer to scare his best friend. There's a ninety percent chance this was planned.

 

**6\. Police Are Useless.**

Stiles is going to treat this as if it's real, because what else can he do?

He grabs his phone out of his pocket and dials 911, waiting patiently as it rings.

"Beacon Hills Police Department, how may I assist you?"

"Barbara, hello! How are you doing?"

"Oh, Stiles! I'm doing okay, but you know that 911 is only for police emergencies, right? There's an axe murderer out there on the loose, so we need to keep the lines free in case anybody has any information. If you would like to chat, you should come into the office sometime, I know your father would appreciate it." Then she hangs up. She. Hangs. Up.

Excuse him for trying to get the pleasantries out of the way before he got to his emergency. Wow.

 

**7\. Phones Are also Useless.**

He sighs and decides to call Scott instead, but all he gets is a busy tone. He systematically tries to call each member of the pack and huffs in frustration when he gets the same tone from all of them. When he tries to call the police station again, all he gets is an error message.

There is a one hundred percent chance that Scott planned this. Well, two can play this game.

 

**8\. Stop Tripping**

Stiles hears a noise behind him and smiles before he quickly changes his face into a mask of fear.

He bolts off like a gazelle, running for a few feet before tripping and falling onto his face. It's not unusual, Stiles happens to be very clumsy.

Except, that he keeps falling down every time he gets up and starts running. He really needs to have a talk with Lydia, or maybe Scott. If Lydia is doing all these favors for Scott, he's got to owe her a pretty big debt and you don't want to be in debt with Lydia.

As he's getting up for what seems to be the eighth time, he notices a flash of something behind him. He doesn't get a good look at the object, but he has the strange feeling that it may be light reflecting off of an axe.

Since he can't run, he's left briskly walking in the opposite direction.

He really hates Scott.

 

**9\. Slippery Fingers**

He somehow makes it to his car without being killed and is very thankful for this. Not thankful towards Scott, but still.

He reaches the door to his jeep and goes to unlock the door. He doesn't know why he thought it would work. The keys slip from his fingers and he rolls his eyes. Remembering that he left his jeep unlocked, he snatches his keys off the ground and climbs inside.

When he goes to stick the key in the ignition, the keys slip from his fingers again. He doesn't know why he thought it would work.

He bends down to grab them and when he gets back up, his eyes stray towards his rear view mirror and he bites his tongue because he will not let Scott have the satisfaction of hearing him scream.

Not that he thinks Scott is anywhere around right now, because Scott loves him and despite everything, he wouldn't put Stiles in a situation where he's alone with an axe murder in his baby. Scott would never jeopardize Stiles' baby.

 

Although Stiles doesn't want to leave a killer in his car, he jumps out in the hopes that the guy will get out and chase after him

The guy thankfully gets out of his car and Stiles hits him with a sleeping charm, fast enough that even the best magic user would be in awe.

 

**10\. Your Car Is A Clunker.**

Stiles really doesn't want to be in the forest any longer. He's just done the puppies' job for them and he kind of wants to go home because all this wilderness is making him break out in hives.

Except his car won't start.

Stiles secretly thinks about restarting The Gummy Bear Wars and then shakes his head in horror. What is he becoming? He can't restart the war, not after all the lives that were lost. (Gummy bear lives, but still)

 

**11\. Is the Bad Guy Alive? Why Don't You Check?**

Eventually, the rest of the pack come back to find him. And they all look a bit guilty, especially when they notice the guy lying on the ground.

Stiles smirks and secretly takes the charm off of Mr. Axe guy.

Scott walks towards the guy and is reaching down towards him, babbling to Stiles about being sorry and how this has gone too far and how he's going to stop, when the murder man reanimates and takes a swing towards Scott with his handy dandy Axe. Scott yelps and jumps back.

Stiles is about to put the charm back on, when Boyd takes care of it by sending a nice swift punch to his face.

**12\. Ankle Grab**

As they get ready to leave, deciding to have the cops come get the guy, Stiles plays one last prank.

When Jackson walks past the body on the ground, Stiles says a little spell that makes a root spring up from the ground and wrap around his ankle. Jackson screams bloody fucking murder and jumps almost three feet in the air, trying to get away.

At this point, Stiles can't help but to laugh. Jackson looks like he's gearing to attack Stiles, but Scott protects him. That's what best friends are for.

 

**13\. DUN, DUN, DUN! Death By Sex ;)**

It's about two days later when Derek finally gets the courage to ask Stiles out. And it takes about three weeks before they get anywhere past heavy make out sessions. And no, the sheriff did not shoot Derek. It was touch and go for a moment, though.

"You didn't think this through, huh Scott?" Stiles questioned, pulling his mouth away from Derek's.

Derek is a little confused when Stiles calls him Scott, but it's all cleared up when the boy himself bursts out of the closet. Derek scowls a little, because he didn't even know Scott was there and that's a bad thing, but he can't think of why right now.

Scott's practically crying and agreeing with Stiles when he's out of the closet, because he did NOT think it through, no. It may be a popular movie trope to get killed while having sex, but somehow Scott did not think about the fact that his friend would be having sex when he jumped out and scared him.

He hadn't been ready for this. He had been in the closet for thirty minutes waiting for them to get to the action and when they started to, Scott had frozen in horror because Derek was groping his best friend and he felt like a pervert and Stiles was moaning and this is not the life he wants to live.

Very thankful that Stiles gives him an out, he runs from the room and straight out of the loft, thinking to himself that Lydia is going to collect pretty soon and that this war was almost as bad as The Gummy Bear War...

Almost.

**Author's Note:**

> There are clichés within clichés tbh.  
> 


End file.
